YEAR OF THE HOUSE OF MOUSE
by Ballyuk
Summary: Grant Gabriel ropes in Clark and Lana to pose for the Daily Planet's calendar, along with the reporters in the bullpen, in the run-up to the holiday season. Set after 7x05 (Action).
1. The Concept

Author's Note: I do not own the characters, and any descriptions of portrayed characters are written in good faith and in the best light. This story started out as an attempt to write something light for _The Office_ but I found it tricky to get it to work well. It translated better within the _Smallville_ universe.

* * *

 **YEAR OF THE HOUSE OF MOUSE.**

* * *

 **The Concept.**

His booming voice announced his presence long before his youthful-looking Armani-clad form strode into the bullpen. No matter what you were doing or how busy you were, the sound of his voice tended to make you stop whatever it was. Once you heard him, there was little chance of hearing anything else. It was a reflex action that meant phone conversations were suddenly filled with uncomfortable silences, and sentences remained half-typed on the computer. It's fair to say that when the new editor Grant Gabriel was around, everyone knew about it. He was brash, cocky, demanding and totally disinterested in fluff pieces, and he had a nice line in ignoring anything that went against what he stood for. His was a forceful personality that could grate and cajole at the same time because he could irritate you into bettering yourself.

Chloe had read the email circulated around the office requesting everybody in the bullpen to be present for a meeting this afternoon. There was no indication given as to the topic under discussion so she made a mental note and trudged back to the copy room to continue making her copies. She had kept her head down, believing she was on thin ice with the boss for turning down the story about the troubled _Warrior Angel_ movie production starring current media darling and full-time diva Rachel Davenport. He had publicly aired Chloe's patchy résumé when the two had first met, and she was under the distinct impression that he would not overlook all the things his predecessor had let slide. She couldn't explain to him why she preferred to steer clear of the story because Clark and his secret were central to it. Protecting his secret regularly meant putting her professional concerns to one side and she worried that Grant would begin to view her as dispensable. Grant was hands-on and very much a micro-manager and maybe it was this approach that had seen him make huge career strides in a very short space of time. He was only a few years older than her.

It was shortly before Grant walked into the bullpen that Clark and Lana had arrived after lunch to chat briefly with Chloe before they headed back to the farm. They had decided to make another go of their relationship, which was why they were in town enjoying a nice leisurely lunch in the park. Chloe knew they were not trying to flaunt their rekindled status in front of her, but she still couldn't help the pang of jealousy and feeling the blues following the end of her own relationship with Jimmy. The fact that Jimmy also worked at the Planet and regularly popped down to the bullpen had created an awkward tension, with neither of them knowing what to say and both working hard to avoid proper eye contact barring the odd stolen glance.

Jimmy was just outside in the hall fiddling with his camera in order to avoid going into the bullpen while Chloe was in there. He has dismantled, cleaned and reattached his camera lens so many times now that it was in danger of getting scratched. Anything to pass the time and avoid the tension. As a junior photographer, Jimmy was tasked with mainly working with bullpen reporters hence why his presence was requested for this meeting too.

"All right, listen up!" boomed Grant as he entered the bullpen. A bored-looking assistant was following him and holding a small metal tombola containing scraps of coloured paper. Clearly the meeting wasn't about work so everybody stopped what they were doing and began paying attention, still none the wiser.

"As you know, the Daily Planet takes part in fundraising activities every year during the holiday season. Since I'm the editor, I am obliged to take part in all the activities. This year, it was decided that the guys in the basement would be the chosen few, so your sorry asses need to pay attention."

"What are we doing this year?" a voice called out from the back.

"I'm glad you asked," replied Grant. "My predecessor chose this so I don't want anyone coming to me with their complaints, and anyway it's all for charity, so like you guys I'm just gonna have to suck it up and deal with it."

A murmur began among the assembled staff but just before Grant could begin to explain, the unmistakable sound of an annoyed Lois and her heels could be heard echoing down the staircase leading to the bullpen. She was having a heated conversation - was there any other kind with her? - with a personal assistant at the Land Registry.

"...I don't care if he's busy, I want him to call me back ASAP. I'm in a meeting right now, so you can tell him that if I don't hear from him, he'll be reading some choice prose in the morning edition that will lead to him having to answer a _lot_ of uncomfortable questions from some _very_ unhappy people. People with a lot of money and influence. And it will be thanks to all your stonewalling..." She paused to take a breath, grinning at having possibly made a breakthrough in the deadlock. "Yeah, you do that, honey."

Lois let out a deep breath, popping her phone into her bag. "So, what'd I miss?"

She sidled up to stand beside Chloe who was impressed that Lois was only a few minutes late for the meeting. In Lois' world, that was punctual. No actually, that was early. Grant didn't miss an opportunity to point out her tardiness though.

"Good of you to join us, Lane," he said sarcastically.

"Hey, when you're spinning as many plates as I am, you tend to forget about the time."

Amid a few eye rolls from various reporters and an exchanged glance between Clark and Lana, neither of whose presence appeared to have been noticed by Grant, he cleared his throat in order to continue.

"The Daily Planet has signed a deal with Disney Pictures to run a promotion. They're releasing their entire back catalogue of animated features on Blu-ray, and readers will be able to collect coupons in the paper to get a 50% discount at Disney stores."

"Where do we come into it?" asked another voice in the room.

"The Daily Planet's annual calendar will be Disney themed this time, and each of us will be allocated a Disney character. The pictures from the calendar will be posted on our website, and readers can vote on which character they like most based on the photos. The more hits we get, the more money will be raised for Metropolis Children's Hospital."

The expected grumbles of protest were stirred up as everybody shook their heads and uttered with varying degrees of discontent as to why they thought it was a bad idea. Grant let the groans continue for a few seconds before speaking again to explain the choice.

"I know I know, it wouldn't have been my choice either but this was the lesser of two evils."

"And what was the other choice?" asked Chloe nervously.

"We would be singing numbers from Disney movies," said Grant.

Lois raised an eyebrow. "Karaoke? That's not so bad."

Clark looked over at her, surprised. "You _like_ singing show tunes?"

"No Smallville, but it _is_ karaoke so there's going to be alcohol involved. Nobody cares how embarrassing it is because nobody will remember. With a calendar, you'd be reminded of it every day. Besides, who wouldn't want to see our esteemed editor leading a chorus of 'Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo'?!" grinned Lois, turning her attention back to Grant. She was a bit curious to know why Clark and Lana were part of this meeting, but she pushed it to the back of her mind.

It wasn't an unreasonable argument, but Grant shot it down immediately with a shake of the head as a few chuckles went round the room. He would absolutely _not_ be singing 'Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo' or any other Disney song for that matter.

"God no! I can't think of anything I'd like to do less. We would have been singing at the kids Christmas party at the hospital, so unfortunately there would be no alcohol. I'm willing to bet that no-one here wants to be singing in front of some sick kids anyway."

Silence.

Grant nodded an I-thought-so before proceeding to explain how the photo shoot would go down.

"They've hired a team of costume fitters, hair and make-up, the whole shebang. It's gonna be done at the Metropolis Grand. Apparently they're shooting a new movie in Metropolis so they're available for the next few weeks. We're running a few interviews with the cast too."

He looked at the assembled staff and realised that he'd need at least twelve people including himself. The bullpen was short by two but he then spotted Clark and Lana over by Chloe's desk. He quickly hatched a plan.

"You! Ms. Lang and, uh...Brawny Lumberjack Guy. You don't work for me but you're in here more often than some of my reporters. You're in too."

Clark and Lana looked at each other in shock. Was Grant seriously considering roping them in for a Disney themed photo shoot? They had no chance to utter a response before Grant's assistant was summoned to place the tombola on the nearest desk.

"Inside are pink and blue cards. Pink for the ladies and blue for the guys, and each one has a number written on it. We have to pick at random. No trades. Ladies first."

Chloe cut in nervously. "You said something about costumes. Do we get to choose our character?"

"No. My predecessor was kind enough to leave that to the Disney people. Apparently they've done this with a few other companies and once we go in, they can decide which character best suits us. I know it sounds ridiculous but this was all agreed before I took over, and I can't back out. It was my choice to pick you guys in the bullpen though. I'm told this would be the first time you guys have been involved in anything like this."

"Maybe we should say something," Lana pointed out to Clark, who looked more than a little unsure himself.

"Lana, I'm sure you'll look great whatever they pick. Farmboy on the other hand..." smiled Lois, eyeing Clark up and down like a piece of meat just to make him even more nervous. This would be nothing like the role of third shepherd in the class nativity play when he was a kid.

One of the interns was closest to the tombola and since there wasn't exactly a rush to step forward, she gingerly volunteered. As was the way with these things, conversations started up about how it was a bad idea, and which characters people would have preferred, and which characters they would prefer others to get.

The intern reached in and picked a pink card. Opening it slowly to read it, she called out the number, which the assistant jotted down in his notebook beside her name. The girls all knew they were unlikely to be lumbered with anything other than princesses and so forth, but the guys felt a bit of trepidation, knowing that they could end up with something really embarrassing like one of the seven dwarves or Quasimodo. The numbers corresponded to the order in which the participant would need to go in. The person in charge of the photo shoots, a woman named Jenny, would have been present at this meeting but had called earlier to say she couldn't make it, thus leaving it to Grant to explain how it would work. She once worked as an assistant casting director for various TV shows so she had a handle on choosing the ideal person for a role. It was Jenny who would decide which character to assign to which staffer.

"Can't we just sneak out?" Clark spoke in muted tones to Lana, becoming increasingly nervous about where this was heading. She shrugged her shoulders, unsure of how they would manage it given they were practically in the middle of the bullpen. Clark's height and red jacket were not conducive to a stealthy exit, and super-speeding away was not an option.

"Panda Boy, you're next!" bellowed Grant, turning over to look at Jimmy who was standing near the doorway.

"Uh, it was Polar Bears actually," mumbled Jimmy as he stepped up to pick.

"Panda Boy?" Lana whispered inquisitively to Chloe.

"Don't ask," Chloe whispered back with a shake of the head.

Lois was slowly warming to this. As fretful as she was about having no choice but to take part, there was still an opportunity to mock and wind people up. As long as she could do that, she was on familiar ground. That Clark was going to be included was a bonus.

"Oh I _so_ hope it's Dumbo," she exclaimed, smiling.

Jimmy rolled his eyes at her while reaching into the tombola, retorting, "Somehow I don't think I can pull off the whole cute baby elephant thing. I'm hoping it's Simba. _The Lion King_ is a great movie."

"It _is_ a great movie," she replied back. "But I just don't see you as the Simba kind."

"Hey maybe _you'll_ get to be Grumpy, Lane," said a male voice in the back. Obviously he was familiar with the grouchy morning mood of a caffeine-deprived former army brat. Lois scowled in his general direction, at which both Clark and Lois silently chuckled. She turned her scowl over to them, making Lana purse her lips and Clark pretend he was looking at something in the distance. Though too tall and too female to be a moody dwarf, he reckoned it would be amusing to see her in such a costume.

When he saw her turn away once more, Clark joked under his breath. "She wouldn't even have to leave home, just have the photographer there for when she wakes up."

Lana was working overtime to contain the chuckle rising up to her throat. She nudged Clark in the ribs to keep quiet as she choked out a cough.

Jimmy smirked as he grabbed a blue card. Whoever it was having a dig at Lois, he was most definitely a bro not a foe for having Jimmy's back. He opened his blue card and read it. The others were looking expectantly at him so he showed it to them.

"OK, let's see," Grant said, scanning the throng. "Chloster, come on down!"

Chloe nervously shuffled over to the tombola as Clark and Lana exchanged a glance yet again, both mouthing the name 'Chloster' in confusion.

"Chloster?" whispered Lois to Jimmy who was now standing beside her.

"Apparently he doesn't call anybody be their given name," Jimmy explained. "Who does that?"

Clark's super-hearing had overheard the conversation and couldn't help pipe up, coughing into his fist. "Gee, I wonder...!"

Lois caught that and rolled her eyes, smirking.

"You know it's been ages since I saw one of those movies," said Lana. "I used to love them when I was a kid, especially _Beauty & the Beast_."

 _Of course_ , thought Lois as she maintained a neutral face. "I haven't seen too many of them but if I had to pick a favourite, it would be _The Jungle Book_. I used to have a stuffed Baloo once, until Lucy tossed it into the lake."

Clark was a bit surprised since he didn't think Lois was the type to enjoy that sort of film. From their various movie nights, she usually alternated between action movies and chick flicks. She had a preference for more soppy fare and absolutely hated scary movies. More than that, _The Jungle Book_ was his particular favourite too.

" _The Jungle Book_ is my favourite too."

"Really?" asked Chloe a little too loudly, joining in the conversation. "I thought it was _The Little Mermaid_."

Clark suddenly felt like there were a hundred pairs of eyes on him. Not wanting to confirm it, he was pretty sure the bullpen had been hushed into silence by that comment. He had to quell the sudden reddening of his cheeks.

"No! What makes you say that?"

"Uh," Chloe began, "your mom once told me she took you to the movie theater to see it when you were little."

"I'm sure lots of parents took their kids to see that movie," Clark answered defensively.

"Yeah well, your mom _might_ have mentioned you telling her that when you were older, you wanted to marry Ariel!" Chloe's eyes were dancing and she had the cheekiest grin on her face right now. Jimmy caught it and felt a pang of regret. He really missed that side of Chloe. Chloe's grin reminded Clark of the time she'd found out about his escapades in Oliver's Green Arrow outfit. She simply wanted to watch him squirm. He _didn't_ miss that side of Chloe.

With that, everybody's attention was definitely on Clark. His face was slowly beginning to match the colour of his jacket.

"Apparently, a lot of guys find Ariel hot. The red lips, the big boobs, the fishtail. Although I gotta say Smallville, I think she's a little out of your league. Besides, I can't see her settling on the farm unless you build an ocean first," Lois pointed out.

"I was five years old, Lois!" Clark blurted out through gritted teeth, not amused. He also hadn't meant to share that little snippet of information which confirmed the story. He groaned inwardly at his own idiocy for falling into that trap.

"Oh so it's true!" beamed Lois, knowing what she'd made him do.

Fortunately for Clark, movie nights with Lois back at the farm had also provided a few interesting titbits for him. She would to get so engrossed in a movie sometimes that she didn't seem to realise the strange comments she would spout from time to time. Clark had never mentioned them to her but he recalled a few instances that she would definitely not wish to share. This was his opportunity to go on the offensive, telling the world just what a big softy Lois Lane really was.

"It's true. Kinda like the time when we were watching _Jerry Maguire_ and you started blubbing at the 'Hello' scene."

Lois stared open-mouthed. "Everyone likes that scene!"

"I guess, but not everyone has told me how, quote, freakin' adorable, end quote, they think that kid is, and how they just want to go up and give him a great big hug."

They were so wrapped up in their exchange now that they barely noticed how everybody including Grant was now listening to them bicker. In the short time Grant had known Lois, she'd given him the impression that she could talk down any guy thanks to her acid tongue. However, here was a guy, a friend of hers and her cousin's, who was capable of going toe-to-toe with her. It was a curious sort of friendship, he observed. The guy already had a girlfriend in Lana Lang but he also knew a great deal about Lois Lane, perhaps on a level just below that of two people who were in a relationship. To an onlooker, they could easily be a married couple judging by the way they often bickered.

The draw went on for another minute or so, after which Grant explained how things would work. Since he did not want all the bullpen staff to be away from work at the same time, they would go to the hotel for either a morning or afternoon so only one employee would be absent on any given morning or afternoon. Grant had been told that each person needed to be able to set aside up to 3 hours, most of which would be taken up with getting into costume. He also told Clark and Lana that they could go together, understanding that they were doing him a big favour.

Now it was a waiting game.


	2. The Outcome

**The Outcome.**

It had been just over two weeks since everybody had gone and done their individual photo shoots. The photographer and the Disney representative had been in regular contact with Grant, providing him with updates on when the calendar was likely to be ready. The only thing Grant knew about the calendar's layout was that all the staff photographed would grace the front cover, with each month dedicated to a specific character. He knew nothing of the order, and neither he nor any of the bullpen staff wanted to discuss the characters that had been selected for them, at least not publicly. He found his given choice embarrassing enough and a little insulting in truth, but knowing everyone else was in the same boat eased his worries just a little. The Disney representative was due shortly. He'd already received an email containing some of the images that were to appear in the calendar but he didn't want to get distracted or sidetracked so he chose deliberately to ignore the email for the moment.

Having just got off the phone with the paper's owners regarding a shareholder meeting, there was a knock on his door. It was the representative from Disney and under her arm was a canister containing what must be the new calendar. Grant stiffened in his chair, anxious yet trying not to convey that anxiety. He stood up, straightened his tie and asked her to come in. As she did so, he offered a polite greeting, walking over to the other side of his desk and asking if she would like a drink, which she declined.

"Mr Gabriel!" she replied. "The moment I'm sure you've been waiting for."

"Please, Mr Gabriel was my father. Grant will be fine Jenny."

"Very well, Grant," said Jenny, popping open the lid to the canister as Grant made a bit of space on his desk.

"Alright, show me what you got."

Jenny carefully pulled out the rolled-up calendar and Grant could immediately tell this was no slapdash affair. It was glossy paper, the colours were vivid and it carried that peculiar print process smell that was both unpleasant yet somehow comforting. It all looked thoroughly professional. Grant had seen some of the work done on behalf of other companies and it was all very impressive so he knew deep down that everybody would come out looking great. If nothing else, he would be the first person at the Planet to learn which characters were being depicted by which members of the bullpen.

As Jenny placed the calendar on the desk, Grant saw the front cover for the first time. It was a colourful montage depicting each person looking straight at the camera, smiling. The Disney logo had centre stage, around which the characters were placed - most standing but some either sitting or crouched down - and the Daily Planet logo and name were placed near the bottom of the front cover in a slightly smaller font. Grant's eyes immediately went to his own photograph and he was surprised at the result. It was only small but he could make out the details clearly. The hair and make-up team, the costume department, the photographer and the editors had done a cracking job. He did not look too ridiculous, and that in itself was a minor miracle. He had gone out of his way to ignore discussion on the subject, and questions over which character he was dressed up as had been met with short shrift.

"So what do you think?" asked Jenny, having given Grant a moment to look over the cover. She was watching him, trying to gauge his opinion before she spoke.

Grant offered an honest opinion. "Well I have to say I'm impressed. While I would have preferred to be someone else, it's clear that you've chosen wisely. Everyone looks great. And hey, if it gets us web hits and bumps up sales, well then it's win-win."

He leaned closer and lifted the calendar up to open it, now eager for a quick perusal of the contents. Flicking quickly to September, he now saw a larger image of the one of himself on the front cover, this time as part of a montage of other shots that they'd taken at the photo shoot. They had super-imposed other characters from the story for some shots to make it look as though his character was interacting with them. The top left corner had the Disney logo and an image of the Blu-ray cover for that particular movie, consisting of a slightly ajar Blu-ray box and the disc peeking out from in between. Most of the bottom left contained the month of September - the actual 'calendar' portion of the calendar. The top right carried the Daily Planet logo. Flicking through the calendar, Grant noticed that the layout varied a little for each month, with pride of place given to a large image of the staff member posing in full costume beside an image of the character in a similar - maybe happier - pose. These images in particular looked excellent, though it was obvious that more than a little bit of airbrushing had been done to eliminate flaws and enhance the reporters' better features. The girls all looked incredible.

"We expect calendar production to commence this week," Jenny explained, "but you are free to use the images in the email for your website poll. The response from your guys has been very positive and I think they all enjoyed the experience so I'd like to thank you and the guys at the Daily Planet for getting involved. Hopefully you raise as much money as possible for the hospital."

"Well I wouldn't go as far as to call it enjoyable but it was certainly an experience. My talents lie with running a major newspaper so I think I'll stick to my day job."

Jenny smiled, making her way to the door. The printed calendar on the desk was for Grant to keep. She wished Grant and the Daily Planet well before making her exit, leaving Grant to stare at the door. He cleared his head and went back to his chair, logging onto his computer and pulling up the email.

Sure enough, the images of everybody were in there. These were not the actual calendar pages so by circulating the email to the relevant staff, none of them would be aware of what month of the year they'd been allocated unless they saw the actual calendar. Browsing the images, one or two caught his eye but there was one in particular that really fired up his imagination. Copying in all the bullpen staff, he hit the send button. At least they wouldn't keep asking when they were going to see the results.

* * *

Chloe was sat at her desk with pen in mouth, beavering away on her latest article. Grant's words a few weeks ago had stung her into action. No longer would she allow herself to be lumbered with tedious stories about city parking or doing the admin jobs that ought to have been left to the interns. From now on, she endeavoured to be the hotshot reporter of her once fiercely burning ambition. She had peered through the looking glass and it had been a real eye-opener. Competition with her cousin was one thing, but being left in the weeds was not an option.

Her piece was about the city's shortage of trained firefighters following a pay dispute that threatened the department's ability to provide adequate fire and rescue services, and she was adamant that the story was going to give her a leg-up. She had the facts, had double and triple-checked her sources, and was now in the middle of adding a touch of excitement to the piece to make it a more riveting read. Grant Gabriel was not going to be able to put her down again. Just as she was adding a quote from one of her sources, her computer beeped an incoming email. Weirdly, at the same moment, both Jimmy and Lois entered the bullpen, seemingly in the middle of a disagreement.

Jimmy nodded to Chloe in acknowledgment, still a little wary about how to act and nervous about what to say around her. Their break-up had created an awkward tension where both had a lot more to say but neither knew how to or indeed whether or not to say it. Maybe some things were better left unsaid.

"I don't know why you didn't just take the shot, Jimmy. I mean, you were right there!" Lois opined, breaking Jimmy out of his daze and causing Chloe to look at her quizzically. Were the two of them working on a joint assignment?

"Lois, I'm all for taking action shots but jumping out onto a three-lane highway is taking it a little too far, don't you think? It's not worth decorating the asphalt with my guts on the off-chance that we catch the perp getting away," Jimmy reasoned, exasperated.

Lois rolled her eyes. "You are so dramatic sometimes!"

Chloe clicked open the email while still engrossed in the conversation taking place beside her. It was clear that whatever scoop Lois was going for could land them in a bit of danger. That was par for the course for a cousin who was a magnet for danger.

"Hey Chloe," said Lois, plopping her bag on her desk and finally acknowledging her cousin's presence. "You agree with me right?" Going by the confused look on Chloe's face, she elaborated. "Do whatever it takes to get the story?"

"Uh...yeah," Chloe replied unconvincingly. She wasn't sure if there was a right or wrong answer to that question. Not wanting to commit either way, she busied herself by studying the contents of the email. Once she saw the pictures, her mouth dropped.

"What? What is it?" Lois asked, seeing the stunned look in her cousin's eyes.

"Grant just emailed the shots from the photo shoots."

Both Lois and Jimmy scurried over to Chloe's desk, totally forgetting about their little disagreement and the potential size of the scoop they'd missed. Bullpen staff had begun to gather around a couple of other desks. Everybody was desperate to see the photos.

Chloe whipped out her cell phone and hit the speed dial.

"Hey Chloe," Clark answered.

"Clark, hey! Listen, are you and Lana in town right now?...You are?...Yeah, you should stop by the Planet when you get the chance...The photos we've all been waiting for have just arrived."

Clark and Lana stepped into the bullpen mere minutes later, with Lana adjusting her hair to lose the windswept look. Clark had just super-sped them both from the farm. The five of them were now huddled around Chloe's desk as she scrolled through the photos one by one.

Chloe's was the first photo to show.

"You were Alice?" mouthed a surprised Lana.

Chloe had indeed been dressed up as Alice. The make-up artists had gone for a rosy-cheeked look with ruby red lips, and given Chloe blonde hair extensions along with the familiar namesake Alice band perched on top of her head. She was fitted out in a light blue frilly dress with a white pinny draped around her waist. White pantyhose and little black shoes completed the ensemble. The dress could be considered to be rather tight-fitting so her chest looked larger, giving her a devilishly naughty juxtaposition of sweetness and light on the outside, but of a saucy little minx within. It was deft in its subtlety which made it all the more effective. What really stood out though was her smile, with her eyes gleaming and the rosy cheeks amplified. In short, Chloe looked terrific, and it was the first time that all bar Lois had seen her with longer hair.

Amid a chorus of wows from the others and a wolf whistle from Lois, Chloe smiled while fighting the blush creeping up her cheeks. The team had really done a fantastic job, and though Jenny had had to convince her that Alice was a good fit for her having read her Daily Planet profile, Chloe could now see that it was an effective choice. Jimmy stared at the image on the screen for a few moments, and could only agree that Alice was a very good choice. Chloe was the type to want to peer through the looking glass to see what really lay behind. More than that, the photographer had captured a happy Chloe whom he hadn't seen in quite some time. It made him wistful, until Lois took the mouse and scrolled down to the next image.

It was Jimmy. Everybody gathered closer to squint at the image because Jimmy looked so different. He looked every bit the young boy curious about the world around him. His skin had taken on a darker tone and he had an unruly mop of long dark hair, the bangs of which swept down to partially cover his eyes. Clothing-wise, there was just a small yet baggy pair of red underwear. Jimmy had been very nervous about his photo shoot when he'd arrived, and he'd pleaded with Jenny and the crew to let him be Simba or maybe even Hercules once they suggested he be the boy who was raised in the jungle. He wouldn't feel like he was on display if he was dressed as a different character. Jimmy wasn't the type to be body-conscious but even he realised that he wasn't blessed with the most imposing of physiques. He'd be the first to describe himself as scrawny. Jenny had read his profile and was of the view that the brief paragraph about his future hopes carried a sense of child-like wonder. It wasn't anything outlandish but it was refreshingly honest and free of the first world cynicism that grinds many people down. Mowgli was an excellent fit.

Jimmy stood with his hands in his pockets and closed his eyes, awaiting the barrage of jokes and general mirth at his misfortune to be lumped with a skinny Indian kid who lived in the jungle. It never came. Instead, everybody smiled in a pleasantly surprised way. Even Chloe couldn't help but pipe up.

"Jimmy, you look adorable!" she cooed.

"Really, you do," agreed Lana, nodding.

"I wasn't expecting that," stated Lois, "but yeah, I think you look great."

"I do?" Jimmy questioned, surprised at this turn of events.

"Jimmy, it's clear that Jenny and the guys know what they're doing. You got to be a character from my favourite Disney cartoon, and you really make a great Mowgli."

Jimmy visibly relaxed. "Thanks guys. How come we can only see one photo? I swear they must have taken about a hundred."

"Maybe they'll put the others on the final calendar," suggested Lana. "I have to say, seeing how your photo shoots turned out so well makes me feel more confident about mine."

"You went in together right? I'm surprised you even went along with it," Chloe queried.

"Well, Grant did say it was for charity," Clark explained, to rationalised his involvement.

"Yeah, and it was actually a lot of fun to dress up and get to be someone else," added Lana.

Lois was the only one paying attention to the screen, scrolling past other staffers dressed up as Snow White, Cinderella and Tarzan. Again, everybody looked amazing and made her feel quietly confident that she'd pulled off her given character too. It wasn't an obvious choice in her mind. Before either Clark or Lana could say any more, Lois suddenly spoke up, her laughter bubbling up to the surface. "Oh my god!"

Clark, Lana, Chloe and Jimmy all turned around to look at the computer, and all of them did a double take. How on earth did this one get the go-ahead?

"Is that...?" Jimmy practically choked out.

"It really is!" Lois bellowed, nearly doubling over with her laughing fit.

Jenny had decided that the boss should be Pinocchio. He had his hands out in a shoulder shrugging pose. His skin had the look of lightly lacquered wood, and he had a 6-inch long prosthetic nose extending at a jaunty angle. A blackish-blue fringe protruded down to eye level from beneath a feathered trilby hat. He was wearing a light yellow shirt with large white lapels and a comedy-sized floppy blue bow tie. The most comical part was that he'd actually been made to wear red lederhosen plus a pair of wooden clogs. The lederhosen looked uncomfortably short and incredibly tight. Getting into them must have been an ordeal in itself. He looked even more youthful than Jimmy.

Clark had to grin at the sight of the editor, but he couldn't help but shudder at the same time. He'd been worried about how he might look in his own outfit despite the reassurances of Jenny and Lana, but those worries ebbed away upon seeing Grant dressed as a small wooden boy. There was no way he would look as comical. What had Jenny seen in his profile to make her think that old craftsman Geppetto's creation was the perfect choice for the editor of one of the country's most esteemed publications? Had he dreamed of being a real boy as a child, whatever that meant? Was his résumé full of fibs? Then again, maybe he'd tossed a coin and lost?

"Suddenly I don't feel so bad about being photographed in my underwear," exclaimed Jimmy.

"He's got cojones, I'll give him that!" said Lois, still laughing. Jenny's powers of persuasion were clearly good enough to get her a seat at the biggest negotiating tables in the world.

The next image quietened Lois down dramatically. She was suddenly at a loss for words, standing there open mouthed. She knew from experience that the photographer was amazing at getting his subjects to relax, lacing his directives with a little humour that made it easier for his subjects to smile. Then he was able to capture those smiles in a way that looked completely natural and not at all forced. These were smiles that reached the eyes. Lois' insistence on checking with the photographer to see how her own shots had turned out let her see first-hand the skill on display. Here was a guy supremely adept at making somebody look and feel like a million dollars. He had pulled a blinder with the next shot.

Clark and Lana had been railroaded by Grant into taking part but to his credit, Grant was fully aware of what he'd asked them to do, and he'd advised Jenny to go easy on them by turning them into characters who didn't induce mirth, unlike Grant with Pinocchio. When Jenny had met the two of them, she already knew they were doing this as a favour. Rather than pick a character based on what she'd learned about them, she simply went for the obvious route based on their physical characteristics and the fact they were together. By far the trickiest part was rigging the fancy Persian rug to appear as though it was flying through the air while two people were perched on it. Getting them to look good was not a problem because they were both extremely photogenic already.

"Oh my god Lana, you look amazing!" gushed Chloe.

She really did. Her petite frame, dark hair and exotic features shone when dressed as Princess Jasmine from _Aladdin_. Her flowing hair was tied along its length in two places by some light blue hairbands. The same colour was used for the tiara that held her hair in place, in the middle of which was an imitation sapphire set within an oval disc. The make-up was minimalistic with subtle red lipstick and the faintest trace of gold glitter within her foundation. Humongous gold earrings with tiny imitation sapphires completed the look along with a matching gold necklace. Her outfit was a light blue two-piece affair consisting of a blouse that hung from her slender shoulders, cleverly concealing her cleavage yet revealing plenty of midriff, and flowing silk pyjamas. Matching slippers completed the ensemble. She was kneeling on the carpet with one hand resting on it and the other gently resting on Clark's shoulder as she gazed up at him, smiling happily. The effect was breathtaking.

Lois found her voice finally, having been taken aback by the quality of the photograph. "Yeah you really do, Lana. You've totally pulled off Jasmine there."

Clark smiled and Jimmy nodded in agreement as Lana bashfully offered them her thanks.

As beautiful as Lana looked as Jasmine, that wasn't the reason the photo had left Lois a little lost for words. Instead, it was the way Clark had been photographed that left her feeling she was looking at the man he could be rather than the young adult he was. Clark was decked out in full Aladdin clobber and it suited his physique incredibly well. They could have chosen Hercules or some other physically imposing character but they didn't, and Lois was glad about that because such characters wouldn't capture the essence of Clark in quite the same way.

Clark's hair was a little unruly beneath the red fez on his head. He was wearing a purple silk waistcoat that looked like it was form-fitted rather than off-the-peg and adjusted, and it showed off the broadness of his shoulders, his bare chest, the well-defined pecs and abs, and the huge arms that weightlifters might be envious of. How he got the physique of a Greek god through simple farm work was one of life's great mysteries in the eyes of Lois. He had on loose white silk pyjamas which again seemed to be more form-fitting. Maybe they lucked out on finding items in their vast wardrobe that would fit him perfectly. He was bent on one knee with his body turned towards Lana rather than directly in front of her, and he was resting one hand on Lana's at his shoulder while he gazed into her eyes, beaming.

It wasn't his physical appearance as Aladdin that had thrown Lois for a loop, although it didn't hurt that he was so easy on the eye. No, it was the fact that the photographer had captured a Clark who looked strong, confident, assured and above all, relaxed and happy. In all the time Lois had known Clark, he'd always come across as somebody with the weight of the world on his shoulders - a curious aura of melancholy that he wore like one of his plaid shirts. Even when he was happy, there was a sense of holding back, a fear of something bad being just around the corner. This photo had shorn him of all that baggage. Lois wondered if he needed another persona or alter ego to feel like his true self. Also, for all the confessions of love she'd had to listen to and the tales she'd had to endure about the so-called happy couple, this was the first time she felt they truly looked happy together. The photographer had pulled off the impossible by totally ridding them of the pool of angst they insisted on wallowing in.

Clark's voice brought her out of her musings.

"Alright Lois, you're being unusually quiet and you _always_ have something to say about me. So what will it be? The absence of flannel? The lack of cows? The fact I'm not brooding?" He raised his eyebrows, suddenly feeling confident and knowing bating Lois in a challenge was like a red rag to a bull.

To his surprise, her response was tame, lacking the self-assurance she usually displayed when dealing with him. All the tell-tale signs of a feisty Lois Lane response - the knowing smirk, the arched eyebrow, the hands on hips - were conspicuous by their absence. In truth, he was a little unnerved by that.

"No, no jokes Clark. It's surprisingly kinda hot."

Now the words were out, there was no taking them back. Lois hadn't meant to compliment him in such a way but she simply couldn't summon up a comeback containing her trademark snark. Hell, she couldn't even call him 'Smallville'. Instead, blurting out a pesky little thing called the truth was the only option available. She could barely look him in the eye, sensing four pairs of eyes on her and feeling like the bullpen had got a few degrees warmer. She was fortunate that Jimmy chose this moment to let people know he was still there.

"Hey, at least they gave you some clothes, C.K. I don't make a habit of walking around in just my underwear."

Lois caught herself staring at Clark and blinked a few times to clear her head of images of a late night in a Smallville cornfield during a thunderstorm. Clark didn't even have underwear that night. She cleared her throat, suddenly busying herself to shut down the email and step away from the computer to avoid all discussion about Disney-themed photo shoots.

"Well, now we've all seen ourselves in character, I should really be getting back to work. A reporter is only as good as her last story," she babbled.

She quickly grabbed her bag and made for the exit, and was at the threshold when she heard Chloe's voice.

"Aren't we forgetting something?"

Chloe reopened the email and scrolled down the attached photos. She was not expecting what she found next. Jimmy, Clark and Lana all peered closer once more, all stunned by the image on the screen. It genuinely belonged in a men's magazine. Clark and Jimmy could feel their throats getting dry and it was difficult for them all to tear their eyes away from the photo.

Lois had been given red hair extensions that blended seamlessly with her blonde hair, and it made her look like a redhead with a few blonde streaks. The hair stylist had added some volume, with the photographer asking Lois to put her pinky to the corner of her lower lip to show off her sultriness to its fullest. And sultry was the word. Little droplets of water were running through her hair, down her face and over her body. She was wearing a strapless lilac bikini top that allowed full focus on her ample cleavage with the material ever so slightly opaque so as to hint at a little nipple, and her lower half was covered by a shiny green fishtail suit complete with tail fins. She was perched on a rock surrounded by coral and sea plants, at an angle that perfectly displayed her curves and the shapeliness of her long legs. After a conversation with Jenny about her life growing up as a military brat, it was evident that Lois had a penchant for defying authority. It was also clear that she wanted to see the big wide world, a place beyond humble Kansas. It was for those reasons that Jenny chose Ariel as a perfect fit. It didn't hurt that Lois was eye candy, as in this outfit she would be a sight for sore eyes.

"I don't care if you punch me, but _that_ is sexy!" mumbled Jimmy, oblivious to the fact he'd not said it to himself.

Lois stopped and turned around, head bowed and sighing heavily. As much fun as it was to critique the others and share a few laughs, she wasn't comfortable about being the centre of discussion herself. Though aware of the hypocrisy, she didn't care. Jimmy's words were barely noticed as she concentrated on the reactions of Lana, Chloe and Clark.

"I'll second that, Jimmy," added Lana. "Lois, you look really beautiful as Ariel."

Chloe smiled widely. "Lois, I'm not kidding. You're gonna have a line of guys queuing up from Metropolis to Mexico once they see this online."

Lois responded with a knock-it-off head tilt but it was Clark's reaction that was of most interest. She had once seen him look at her the way he was looking at her now, and was in no doubt as to why.

Clark's mind was processing a million-and-one thoughts, all of them unwelcome considering he had a girlfriend already, and a few of them disturbing. The photo of Lois as Ariel took him back to when he had accidentally seen her naked at the Talon apartment. The droplets of water trickling down her body certainly reminded him of that moment. A few of his thoughts had stripped away the bikini top and fishtail suit because he knew exactly what lay underneath. One of the other disturbing thoughts was the conversation Chloe had started a few weeks ago, announcing to everybody that as a kid, he'd wanted to marry Ariel after having seen _The Little Mermaid_ at the movies. No question, the picture was tantalising for any guy with a pulse - and more than a few women too - but was a part of him, even briefly, considering the woman in the photo to be future marriage material? No, that was insane. He had Lana and he was perfectly happy.

"I-it's nice," he finally stuttered, unable to add anything more.

"Right, well I'd better get going then," Lois announced to everybody, breaking the awkward tension. "Grant needs my story by tonight."

All in all, everybody was in agreement that the photo shoots had gone well. Soon it would be up to online readers to determine who had pulled off their characters the best.

* * *

A week later, and the copies of the Daily Planet 2008 calendar were circulating around the bullpen. All staff and interns at the paper were allowed to have 4 copies although as was the way with these things, many got several more and others were happy to make do with fewer. Everybody was hugely impressed with the calendar, and both Chloe and Lois were getting asked out by reporters on the other floors, which both declined - Chloe being gentler while Lois was much more vehement. Grant was fully aware that mixing business with pleasure was a no-no but he was becoming increasingly besotted with the obnoxious yet delectable Miss Lane. Sparks would fly soon if he had his way.

The online poll was a close run thing but Jimmy - to everybody else's surprise, not least his own - eventually edged out Lois by just 2% to win the poll. His prize was the satisfaction that an embarrassing photo shoot had turned out to be well worth it. Sales of the paper were up as readers took to collecting the promotional coupons and taking advantage of the heavy discount at Disney stores. More importantly, readers and staff at the Daily Planet had raised a record total for charity (with a substantial donation from Disney of course), enough to allow the Metropolis Children's Hospital to invest in some state-of-the-art equipment to enable specialist treatment for children in the Mid West who would otherwise have had to travel all the way to California.

Twelve months from now, it would be someone else's turn.

* * *

 **FIN.**


End file.
